The crows cleared the sky and landed in a circle, surrounding me. The twinkle of suzu bells chimed in my ears. “Never!” I cried, startling the circling karasu, who cawed at me in contempt. I concentrated on fighting this darkness, but fear ate at my will. I wanted to answer with all my might, but the words were stuck in my throat. As much as I wanted to move, my limbs wouldn’t listen. I was paralyzed as if I had dived in a frozen lake. “Do you love him?” an eerie voice called from the mist.
My mother used to tell me stories about them. Those were karasu, crows born in the underworld.
I watched them fascinated for a moment, but then I glimpsed their red beaded eyes, and I broke into a cold sweat. A murder of crows was gathering, blocking the sun. I turned my gaze to the darkening sky and gasped. I could barely see the shrine, even though it was an arm’s length away. When I opened them again, I found a thick mist had surrounded me. “I wish I could see you again.” Even if he was a yōkai. Those were the nights I woke up crying, with only the darkness and the moon to keep me company and witness my sadness. Then as I grew up, he stopped laughing and began keeping his distance from me, speaking words I couldn’t hear. In the beginning we laughed, played and swam in the lake. Over the years, he came to me in dreams shaped around the colors of summer. I stroked the stone remembering how we had struggled together to bring this boulder up the mountain through sluice. Everywhere I looked I saw effigies of an unrequited love and a past filled with regret.ĭestroy a nation, but its mountains and rivers remain. Shadows made me stir, hoping they were his. The wind in the branches had me turning left and right, chasing a sound that resembled his laughter. My imagination played tricks on me in this place of memories. I found the lake where we used to swim, and in a field of chrysanthemums, the unfinished shrine of the Inari god, covered in moss and blackened by time.
I found the spot where Kogitsune and I often sat for lunch. Yet, some things remained as I remembered. Saplings and younger trees as thick as my leg had replaced them. They must have burned a decade ago in that terrible wildfire. The old secular cedars were nowhere to be seen. It was in the mist, rising from the ground as if to bar the way. It was in the chill seeping into my bones like a wet blanket that grew heavier with every step I took. I sensed it in my guts, as the birds ceased to sing at my approach and the sun vanished behind gray clouds. Kogitsune is book #1 in the Takamagahara Monogatari series, followed by Shinigami – today’s giveaway. This is not only a very time consuming post to have written, it’s very generous and special. Today we have a fantastic post from Xia Xia Lake, who has graciously written the missing sex scene from the delightful Kogitsune especially for our 8th blog anniversary.
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